


My Own Two Hands Will Comfort You

by theraccoonloon



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, I dunno if someone has done this and if they have shoot me pls, Identity Reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 09:44:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9650159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theraccoonloon/pseuds/theraccoonloon
Summary: Lena and Kara are a happy little couple. More importantly, Lena doesn't know about Supergirl. What if Kara tells her after an unsuccessful mission?





	

**Author's Note:**

> That moment when you have other fics to do but you're a slut for the pairing and have an idea

"They're dead."

Lena didn't even hear the door open. She didn't even notice Kara entering her living room, barefoot and trembling. Lena is frozen by the words that leave her girlfriend's mouth, paralyzed in her seat. 

"Kara, what do you mean?" She sits up in her seat, closing her book. "Who's dead?" She tries for clues in her girlfriend's appearance. Kara isn't in the same outfit she was wearing this morning. The pastel dress and sweater had been replaced with dark grey sweats and a hoodie.

Her voice is grave when she talks again, an octave lower then normal, "I-I tried to save them. I was right there an inch away." Kara's shoulders are slumped, head hung with eyes fixated on the floor. Her posture melts away each word, like there's a black hole in her chest and she's collapsing inwards. Lena rises to her feet, but Kara, for this singular moment in time, seems untouchable to her. "I tried Lena, I did. To save, all ten of them. I came up with all sorts of different ways to save them before I even arrived. I had backup plans for my backup plans."

Lena's book falls to the ground with a thud. The noise seem silent in comparison to the deafening loudness of Kara's whispered confession.

"I could've saved them." Her voice cracks for the first time. Lena feels it in the pit of her stomach. She can feel it echoing in her chest and it felt like agony. Kara's voice trembles at the edge of hysterical. "But, I heard Alex in my ear. J'onn was busy, he couldn't get her and Alex was terrified." She takes a deep breath. Lena realizes that she has't been breathing either. "But, it was my sister and I had _never_ heard her that terrified."

Lena takes a step forwards, Kara backs away.

The chasm between them feels infinite.

Kara shakes her head, eyes never leaving the ground. Lena hears the self-deprecating smile even if she can't see it on Kara's face. "So, I saved her and she was fine." Her voice cracks again, smile gone. "Ten seconds makes all the difference, doesn't it? You can do so many things in ten seconds, fold a shirt, eat some food, drink a glass of water. I should've known that ten seconds wouldn't be inconsequential. I should've-"

"-Kara." Lena tries to end this line of thinking. She steps forward again, arm outstretch. With words or with touch, she wants to unhaunt her lover's bones.

 _"Don't touch me."_ Kara shouts stumbling backwards, arms in front of her ready to push Lena away. Her voice sounds the most solid it has this entire time, the most real, and it sounds terrified. Kara is terrified of Lena. Lena's hand goes to her face, trying to stifle her own shaky breathes, a sign since childhood of oncoming tears.

Kara stands there for a moment, body trembling, hands fidgeting. The moment feels too long, but both people ensnared in it feel like they can't do anything to break it.

"They were kids."

Kara finally looks up. Her eyes are bloodshot and her face is blotchy and streaked. "They were kids with futures and lives and families and friends and I- I killed them. All my own selfishness."

At last, Kara collapses. She falls to the ground chest heaving. Sob wracking through her like thunder. Lena is there and wraps Kara in her arms as Kara, ever so weakly, tries to break free of the loving hold.

"Kara, there is nothing you could've done. You're just a reporter."

"But, I'm _not._ I'm Supergirl." Her sobs almost sound like a laugh when she says the name. Lena freezes, the information tearing up through her bones.

Now is not the time to fixate on that. With Kara torn open and shattered in front of her, the very foundation of her existence thoroughly shattered. Barely Kara, most personified guilt and grieving.

Now is not the time.

Lena rocks them back and forth, humming softly as Kara sobs. "Beautiful little lights, all snuffed out." Kara's voice is so soft it's scarcely an audible whisper. Kara stills for once more before another guilt-laden confession tumbles from her with a sob. "I'm no better than a murderer." Kara takes a big gulp of air. "They died, scared and alone, I saw it in their faces as I flew towards them. Even through their fear, each one of them trusted me until the very last moment."

Lena's voice cracks as she talks. "You didn't do it on purpose, you didn't intend for them to die."

"Did I? I went to save my sister when I knew what their situation was. Intentions don't mean anything."

Lena tries again. "You've saved so many lives."

"Saving someone doesn't negate killing someone else."

Lena sighs softly, running her fingers through Kara's hair. "There's nothing I can do to fix this." It's all statement and no question. She whispers into Kara's hair. She just feels Kara shake her head.

"There's nothing that can fix this." Kara whispers, her voice is airy and exhausted. She sounds so heartbreakingly empty.

So, Lena does nothing. She makes no grand speech about past actions. She doesn't call Kara's family. No comfort food or softly spoken jokes. Lena doesn't even them move off the floor.

She just sits there, with her girlfriend, and let's them both become haunted by ghosts.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is pink-kryptonite-kara. This is probably the worst thing I've ever banged out on a keyboard but i am emotionally fine with it. Am I good at angst? No. Did I try? You betcha.


End file.
